I stood in the doorway of Lauren’s room and just looked at her as she screamed her little lungs out. She was such a beautiful baby; she seemed so normal, so perfect - except for the constant screaming. Why won’t she stop screaming? I thought that if I put a pillow over Lauren’s head to quiet her, just for a minute... I didn’t want to hurt her; I just needed her to stop screaming for a moment. Just a little moment of silence. Please. I just need a few seconds.